God respects Joseph

Matthew 2:13-23

God chooses to lead the family through Joseph, though He spoke to Mary first it was on a personal level to let her know God was with her concerning the birth of the Messiah but from that point on God led Joseph and Mary through Joseph's life, which gave respect and honor to Joseph as the husband and leader of his family. Had God not led them out of danger this way when Herod tried to kill Jesus but did it through Mary instead do you think that would have bond the family together or would Joseph start to feel excluded.

Too many times I've heard a husband say, “I'm just a paycheck to my wife. She doesn't need me otherwise.” If the husband is a good-willed man who loves God then it is natural for him to want to be included in decisions about the family, that's why it is so damaging when the wife makes choices about the kids, finances, schedule, etc. without talking to the husband first. I get that if the wife does not understand the reason for this it could be taken as the husband wanting to control everything, especially if her father was overbearing but by trying to be independent she cuts herself off from her husband's love, which leads to a “crazy cycle” Dr. Emerson Eggerichs talks about in his book Love and Respect. Remember it's the adoration of the wife for the husband that enables him to lay down his life for her and their children, as God intended.

I believe with Mary, as with all those who love Jehovah today, God continued to speak to her and reassure her on a personal level just as strongly as He did when the angel first spoke to her about the baby inside her womb and I also believe that when God led her family through her husband she had no resentment because she honored Joseph and knew that was God's plan.

Love and Respect changes everything

Within six months of marriage I knew what I needed out of our relationship was different than what my wife needed but I didn’t know how to express it. As years went by and we shared our home with teenagers it became ever more apparent that RESPECT was like an oasis in the middle of the desert and the absence of it was a burden too heavy for me to carry. The well-meaning “adult” that told my children that “respect is earned” either didn’t take time study the Bible on his own or never questioned the way he was taught for this teaching is prevalent in our homes, schools, and even churches. Ephesians 5:33 tells God’s command to both husbands and wives and when they marry they enter into an agreement with God but it is not dependent upon the other one’s ability to earn it. “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” What’s being said, in case you missed it, is that the husband must have unconditional love for his wife and the wife must have unconditional respect for her husband – both being wired to receive God’s wonderful gift from the other one in this primary and unique way.

When we teach that love is to be unconditional but respect is to be earned it drains the husband of his God-given ability and/or desire to do anything for his wife or children because disrespect is seen as contempt but it does more than just that the husband is taken to into deep, dark place that no one else knows about and with one fell swoop the enemy of God has made his move against each one in the family. However, when respect is given unconditionally it causes something inside the husband to come alive. It’s the very same thing that makes a soldier willing to die for his friends – nothing is impossible or cost too much! “Mary tell me that you want the moon and I’ll lasso it and bring it down to you.” George Bailey could do anything for Mary because she honored him and in return he loved her. More than ever before the old movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” had real meaning to me this Christmas as God prepared me for this message, thanks Malachi.

I believe the wife has the ability to build her husband up to be the man God intended but she also has the ability to cut his legs out from under him and the sad thing is unless she also hears this message with her heart she won’t even realize it… she only knows that her husband isn’t loving her the way she needs to be loved. So who goes first? Which one is the more mature?

The following is an excerpt from the book I’ve been reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

The Law

Romans 7:4-6 NLT
(4) So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the One who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God.
(5) When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death.
(6) But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.

I have been guilty of looking at the law the wrong way. When I fail to live according to God's Word the thing that is on my mind the most was the fact that I broke God's law and I am condemned by it but if I truly died to the law and was raised from the dead with Christ Jesus then the law no longer condemns me.

Jesus said that He did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets but instead came to accomplish their purpose (Matthew 5:7). If that is the case what used to condemn because of the sin within me now once again points me back to Christ Jesus, as it was originally intended and that was what Jesus meant when He said that He came to accomplish the purpose of the law.

For too long the devil has used the law for his own means, trying to pull me out of the hands of my Savior but inside I knew this was wrong but felt I had no ground to stand on and because I judged others the same way therefore I too was condemned but no longer. Now this doesn't mean I have a free pass to live however I want but instead because of this great love inside of me for Jesus my one desire is to please Him in all things, again the law is fulfilled because of the work Jesus has done and at the same time He has canceled out the snare of the enemy. I am truly a new creature in Christ Jesus, old things have passed away and new things have come!

2 Corinthians 5:17-19 NLT
(17) This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
(18) And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to Himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him.
(19) For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. And He gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.

What Motivates Us

James 1:9-12 NLT
(9) Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them.
(10) And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field.
(11) The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.
(12) God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

Is it financial wealth and possessions that drives us to do what we do? What about power and influence over others, deep down does that make us feel good at the end of the day? I read that no matter how great our achievements if it is not done for the Lord then it will all die with us when we pass from this life and though we think those achievements can be used as tokens when we stand before our Creator we will find only bitter disappointment because we have spent our lives chasing the wrong things.

If we truly believe God know all and sees all and that He really loves us then why wouldn't we obey His commandments? If my motivation is money or possessions then I have separated myself from a relationship with God and know nothing of Him. I then have effectively pulled away from Him not the other way around. The rich man asks where is God in times of trouble while his fists are clinched to his achievements and money, somehow hoping they will save him. It is not easy trusting in the unseen but that is faith and faith is required of us if we are to please our Heavenly Father.

You see it is not by my strength that I endure all the tests life throws at me but my strength comes from having relationship with my Savior, regardless of what others think, say, or do. It is too often too easy for someone not understanding the trial your going through to offer a solution because they think too highly of themselves and fail to realize, like you, just how dependent they really are. Like the teenager who brags to all his friends how independent he is but has not yet ventured out on his own, some never leave home. And like that teenager there are many spiritual teens who like to brag how well they're doing but fail to realize it's because of the protection of the Father.

Like a good father God also moves us toward maturity through trials and tribulations, not that He sends the test but that He pulls back His wing of protection enough for us to understand just how much we need Him but make no mistake the temptation is just that because of the evil desires within our own hearts. God allows us to see who we are as we grow closer to Him and as we come face-to-face with our own depravity there are ample opportunities to fear but James tells us this...

James 1:2-5 NLT
(2) Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
(3) For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
(4) So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
(5) If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

It is God's good pleasure to help us through, as we look to Him but should we depend on something apart from Him the result is clear.

James 1:6-8 NLT
(6) But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.
(7) Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
(8) Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

The Shrinking Army

Judges 7:4-7 NLT
(4) But the LORD told Gideon, "There are still too many! Bring them down to the spring, and I will test them to determine who will go with you and who will not."
(5) When Gideon took his warriors down to the water, the LORD told him, "Divide the men into two groups. In one group put all those who cup water in their hands and lap it up with their tongues like dogs. In the other group put all those who kneel down and drink with their mouths in the stream."
(6) Only 300 of the men drank from their hands. All the others got down on their knees and drank with their mouths in the stream.
(7) The LORD told Gideon, "With these 300 men I will rescue you and give you victory over the Midianites. Send all the others home."

Have you ever felt your list of friends get shorter as God leads you into a deeper understanding of what He wants to do in your life? The response of many would be that of defense but it is true. It doesn’t mean those who are unable to follow aren’t friends, some you would even consider close, it just means God says that they can’t go where you are going. Like Gideon the first group that went home before the battle began was 22,000. This group was allowed to leave because they feared for their lives and after that 10,000 remained but God said there were still too many so He tested them. After the test only 300 hundred warriors remained, the other 9,700 were indeed warriors and were ready to fight but God did not choose them. In the same way there are casual friends (the group of 22,000) who are scared of the places God leads you and there are friends who would go into battle by your side but God says they cannot go where you are going (the 9,700) but God has reserved a remnant that will work with you side by side until the victory is revealed. Your job is to allow God to do the selecting, trusting that He knows what He is doing. It’s not an easy process as I am sure Gideon watched a lot of people leave that he didn’t want to let go of but he chose to trust God. The 10,000 weren’t the only ones tested for Gideon’s test was the most difficult but did you notice the relationship between Gideon and the Lord? That’s where each of us needs to be if we are to ever hear God lead us into battle.

A similar situation happened to me recently. I do not think any less of this friend from my youth but have high regards for him. In typical fashion I needed to know it was God that I was following and three times a test came and three times God said no. I do not understand what God has planned but I do trust Him completely and I pray that He shapes me and molds me into the person He has purposed for me to be. 

To Fight Fear

To fight fear three things are required: Know who God is, be obedient to His call, and trust Him. It is that simple but those three things are the most difficult things to you’ll ever do.

Genesis 22:9-14 NLT
(9) When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood.
(10) And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice.
(11) At that moment the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Yes," Abraham replied. "Here I am!"
(12) "Don't lay a hand on the boy!" the angel said. "Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from Me even your son, your only son."
(13) Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son.
(14) Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means "the LORD will provide"). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

Here we see first of all Abraham had relationship with God and he communed with God and God with him. What does that look like for us? It begins in our hearts, our hearts hunger to know more about who God is and then the Holy Spirit of God leads us to pray. Asking that He reveal more of Himself to us and we take the time to open the Word of God and we pray for understanding. God is faithful and if we seek Him our understanding of who He is will grow. That is the first step of conquering fear.

Matthew 14:24-30 NLT
(24) Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves.
(25) About three o'clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water.
(26) When the disciples saw Him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, "It's a ghost!"
(27) But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," He said. "Take courage. I am here! "
(28) Then Peter called to Him, "Lord, if it's really You, tell me to come to You, walking on the water."
(29) "Yes, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.
(30) But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted.

Like Peter we do many things wrong as followers of Christ Jesus but he was the only one willing to trust Jesus while the others were filled with fear. For all Peter has been criticized for he got this one right in that he was obedient to God’s call for him to step out of the boat. It was only after he took his eyes off of Jesus and looked at the circumstances surrounding him that he began to sink.

Jonah 2:1-10 NLT
(1) Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from inside the fish.
(2) He said, "I cried out to the LORD in my great trouble, and He answered me. I called to You from the land of the dead, and LORD, You heard me!
(3) You threw me into the ocean depths, and I sank down to the heart of the sea. The mighty waters engulfed me; I was buried beneath Your wild and stormy waves.
(4) Then I said, 'O LORD, You have driven me from Your presence. Yet I will look once more toward Your holy Temple.'
(5) "I sank beneath the waves, and the waters closed over me. Seaweed wrapped itself around my head.
(6) I sank down to the very roots of the mountains. I was imprisoned in the earth, whose gates lock shut forever. But You, O LORD my God, snatched me from the jaws of death!
(7) As my life was slipping away, I remembered the LORD. And my earnest prayer went out to You in Your holy Temple.
(8) Those who worship false gods turn their backs on all God's mercies.
(9) But I will offer sacrifices to You with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. For my salvation comes from the LORD alone."
(10) Then the LORD ordered the fish to spit Jonah out onto the beach.

Though Jonah tried to run from God he knew deep within there was no escaping God’s call on his life. He then told the sailors to toss him into the sea and the storm would cease and it did. However for Jonah he had to learn his lesson in the belly of the great fish but even then Jonah could hear the call of God on his life. In the midst of his desperation Jonah stopped trying to run from God and decided the best thing to do was to instead trust God. I believe the moment he had experienced a true heart change the fish spit him out on dry land.

As God’s people we are not perfect and even in the midst of our failures, if we know Him, we can hear His call on our lives. That can either bring great misery or great joy but that depends on our willingness to trust and obey Him. In all three of these accounts fear had to be overcome; it wasn’t overcome by running away but instead running to God and in turn God was glorified through that individual for all the world to see! You want to do something big for God, you want to tear down the walls fear has built in your life, then know God, be obedient to His call, and trust Him in all things.

Bread from Heaven

Exodus 16:4 NLT
(4) Then the LORD said to Moses, "Look, I'm going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow My instructions."

So God brought you out of Egypt, freeing you from your bondage but all you can think about was how good you had it then. Without knowing it your thoughts have blinded you from the miracles that surround you now and change, even though it is good, feels like the enemy. It seems unimaginable but the Israelites own thoughts were leading them down a path of destruction but at any moment all they had to do was look up to see what God had provided for them and accept the challenge to be different. Strangely enough there was a comfort in being a victim because your outcome wasn’t your fault but to follow an invisible God into the wilderness who then could you point your finger at if things didn’t turn out good? 

Just the thought of failure immobilizes your legs and feet until they feel like cinder blocks and your thoughts begin to overwhelm you with ideas of returning to the way things once were. Fortunately, unknown by you God has a plan much like the Promised Land waited for the Israelites but to reach it you have to take your eyes off of yourself and look to Jesus and even though you may want what God wants your flesh will fight you every step of the way, even to the point of being self-destructive. Yes your own flesh will sabotage the efforts of the spirit within you all because of the fear of the unknown. The only defense against such behavior is to see and understand your own desperation for God to lead and guide you every step of the way, even when it feels like you’re headed the wrong direction.

Exodus 16:35 NLT
(35) So the people of Israel ate manna for forty years until they arrived at the land where they would settle. They ate manna until they came to the border of the land of Canaan.

I don’t want to waste time in the wilderness because I was afraid to trust God fully but even if I do God is faithful to provide until such time when I step foot in the Promised Land.