While walking through a valley so deep the sun only shows for a few hours each day one is faced with a question. To know that all things are possible for God is not hard to believe, likewise knowing that God has a purpose and that purpose will be accomplished is no stretch. I know that through circumstances He is shaping me and molding me like a potter molds the clay vessel on the pottery wheel but is it His purpose that my hopes be destroyed in the process? This question I come across in many different forms as I walk this path but at it’s base the question is this – is God for me? Will God not only rescue my soul but my emotional and psychological well being too or will I be brought low to the point I can do nothing but surrender? When He is finished with me will I still be me or someone else? Does God really care about the little things that I care about? Like Jacob I could wrestle with God but I haven’t the will and though I conform I am left pondering these things.
If God knows me intimately, like I know He does because He is the Creator of all life, then He must know what is best for me and though there are times the molding and reshaping is painful it is necessary. There comes a time in each person’s life where complete surrender is required and there each one comes face to face with this question – do I completely trust God with my life? Do I believe what He is making me to be is better than what I am? He gives me His Word so that I may know Him, how did He change those who followed before me? Is that someone I want to be? Paul, who was Saul was aware of how God changed him and he had such a great love for God he said this, “For to me, living means for Christ, and dying is even better.” (Philippians 1:21). He had one mind undivided by the things of this earth. As he faced death he knew crossing that threshold would only serve to take him home to see his Redeemer and if he was allowed to live it meant allowing God to live through him so that others may know the Lover of our souls also.
Ultimately I know God is for me and though I would choose a different path I also know my very sight is given to me by Him and without Him my eyes go dim and I am left standing in the dark. We cannot let anything hold us back from following our Lord and Savior though the enemy will lie continuously. Lord let us know your passion for us, let us understand if only a little what we mean to you. We have been alone for so long and You have been crying out for us, for you long to be with us, we are yours and You have given your Son so that like Paul we have a home to come home to. Thank you Father God for reassuring us as we take these steps in this deep valley.
