God respects Joseph

Matthew 2:13-23

God chooses to lead the family through Joseph, though He spoke to Mary first it was on a personal level to let her know God was with her concerning the birth of the Messiah but from that point on God led Joseph and Mary through Joseph's life, which gave respect and honor to Joseph as the husband and leader of his family. Had God not led them out of danger this way when Herod tried to kill Jesus but did it through Mary instead do you think that would have bond the family together or would Joseph start to feel excluded.

Too many times I've heard a husband say, “I'm just a paycheck to my wife. She doesn't need me otherwise.” If the husband is a good-willed man who loves God then it is natural for him to want to be included in decisions about the family, that's why it is so damaging when the wife makes choices about the kids, finances, schedule, etc. without talking to the husband first. I get that if the wife does not understand the reason for this it could be taken as the husband wanting to control everything, especially if her father was overbearing but by trying to be independent she cuts herself off from her husband's love, which leads to a “crazy cycle” Dr. Emerson Eggerichs talks about in his book Love and Respect. Remember it's the adoration of the wife for the husband that enables him to lay down his life for her and their children, as God intended.

I believe with Mary, as with all those who love Jehovah today, God continued to speak to her and reassure her on a personal level just as strongly as He did when the angel first spoke to her about the baby inside her womb and I also believe that when God led her family through her husband she had no resentment because she honored Joseph and knew that was God's plan.

Love and Respect changes everything

Within six months of marriage I knew what I needed out of our relationship was different than what my wife needed but I didn’t know how to express it. As years went by and we shared our home with teenagers it became ever more apparent that RESPECT was like an oasis in the middle of the desert and the absence of it was a burden too heavy for me to carry. The well-meaning “adult” that told my children that “respect is earned” either didn’t take time study the Bible on his own or never questioned the way he was taught for this teaching is prevalent in our homes, schools, and even churches. Ephesians 5:33 tells God’s command to both husbands and wives and when they marry they enter into an agreement with God but it is not dependent upon the other one’s ability to earn it. “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” What’s being said, in case you missed it, is that the husband must have unconditional love for his wife and the wife must have unconditional respect for her husband – both being wired to receive God’s wonderful gift from the other one in this primary and unique way.

When we teach that love is to be unconditional but respect is to be earned it drains the husband of his God-given ability and/or desire to do anything for his wife or children because disrespect is seen as contempt but it does more than just that the husband is taken to into deep, dark place that no one else knows about and with one fell swoop the enemy of God has made his move against each one in the family. However, when respect is given unconditionally it causes something inside the husband to come alive. It’s the very same thing that makes a soldier willing to die for his friends – nothing is impossible or cost too much! “Mary tell me that you want the moon and I’ll lasso it and bring it down to you.” George Bailey could do anything for Mary because she honored him and in return he loved her. More than ever before the old movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” had real meaning to me this Christmas as God prepared me for this message, thanks Malachi.

I believe the wife has the ability to build her husband up to be the man God intended but she also has the ability to cut his legs out from under him and the sad thing is unless she also hears this message with her heart she won’t even realize it… she only knows that her husband isn’t loving her the way she needs to be loved. So who goes first? Which one is the more mature?

The following is an excerpt from the book I’ve been reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs