A house divided

He knew their thoughts, so He said, "Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A family splintered by feuding will fall apart.
(Luke 11:17 NLT)

Can two be joined together yet be divided in heart? What about parent and child, can they support or encourage each other if there is division between them? No, I tell you this relationship will follow the prior and if there are cracks in the foundation the entire house will be unstable.

What happens when the wife cannot submit to the husband and the husband cannot love the wife? When the Bible says something we must consider it carefully. Too many times I’ve seen politically correct preachers teach wives the word submit doesn’t really mean submit and then as to reinforce their thought they go directly into how God created men and women to be equals. While truth is mixed into the point being made it leads couples further into distress. It is no better for men, in order to be kind, gentle, loving, and avoid confrontation our God-given desire to lead has been subdued to the point of almost nonexistent and church leaders wonder why they have such a hard time getting men to participate making them seem lazy and uninterested. These problems are compounded when children are raised in a home where these questions go unanswered.

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
(Colossians 3:17-23 NLT)

The following is an excerpt from the Matthew Henry commentary:

“We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel religion.
I. He begins with the duties of wives and husbands (Col_3:18): Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Submission is the duty of wives, hupotassesthe. It is the same word which is used to express our duty to magistrates (Rom_13:1, Let every soul be subject to the higher powers), and is expressed by subjection and reverence, Eph_5:24, Eph_5:33. The reason is that Adam was first formed, then Eve: and Adam was not deceived, but the woman, being deceived, was in the transgression, 1Ti_2:13, 1Ti_2:14. He was first in the creation and last in the transgression. The head of the woman is the man; and the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man; neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man, 1Co_11:3, 1Co_11:8, 1Co_11:9. It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation, and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord, it is becoming the relation, and what they are bound in duty to do, as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ. On the other hand, husbands must love their wives, and not be bitter against them, Col_3:19. They must love them with tender and faithful affection, as Christ loved the church, and as their own bodies, and even as themselves (Eph_5:25, Eph_5:28, Eph_5:33), with a love peculiar to the nearest relation and the greatest comfort and blessing of life. And they must not be bitter against them, not use them unkindly, with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind and obliging to them in all things; for the woman was made for the man, neither is the man without the woman, and the man also is by the woman, 1Co_11:9, 1Co_11:11, 1Co_11:12.”

The husband has the greater responsibility of the two and therefore the Lord requires more of him. On Judgment Day they both must give an account of how they lived their lives and many will be surprised. Husbands who have a strong wives must love them regardless of their actions or words and show Christ’s love to them at all times but know this in every situation where the wife is strong the husband’s strength is subdued and many times they even appear weak to others, which in turn causes the wife to justify her display of strength. In this case she is searching for something but does not know what, God has not blessed her in the area of leading in place of her husband and therefore she will not be satisfied. That’s not to say the woman cannot lead if the husband is absent but she must not do this if he is present and purposes to follow God’s leading. The wife’s purpose is to help him hear and follow God’s leading and by doing this the entire household is strengthened as God intended. The husband with a strong wife also has a responsibility to teach her why she cannot lead, to help her hear God’s voice, but he must do it without becoming frustrated and should the wife refuse to listen the husband must fall back on the promise he made before God to love and care for her, even cherish her.

A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
(Proverbs 12:4 NIV)

Husbands don’t blame your wives and wives don’t blame your husbands but instead allow God to open your spiritual eyes so that you might see how today’s culture has drifted so far away from what God’s plan was for the family. If your children are rebellious first examine your relationship with God and then with your spouse, are you following His precepts? Matthew Henry may have said it best when he said, “We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel religion.” If you want the spouse God intended then you have to be the spouse He intended and if you want the children He promised would be a blessing then you have to be the parents He promised to bless.