Doing it on your own

You can either make decisions based on what you know or you can live your life based on truth but what is true? If it is not what you believe to be true then how can you know it? More to the point what is your anchor, what is true north? Is your life line depended upon how you can play the game or is it dependent upon what the Creator of all life says? Why would anyone want to play games when the cost is so high? Is it because, apart from Christ we don’t understand what the costs are? We have a Creator who not only gave us this life we know and love but gave us also eternal souls and the cost is eternal separation from God.

All that we see and know that is good and true has been given to us as blessings from God, the mind cannot comprehend existence without God’s mercy, His love, and His grace. “For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45 MKJV). Do we really want to know what life is like without God’s intervention? Do we want to gamble on finding out and then living with our decision for the rest of eternity?

God loves us too much not to change us. When you are left alone with yourself, meaning when you come face to face with the reality of who you are without Christ are you satisfied with what you see? Really, all humanity is the same read Psalms, king David struggled with who he was without God. David’s son Solomon who wrote Ecclesiastes did not want for anything and had wisdom beyond his own understanding yet he said, “Vanity of vanities, says the preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What is the profit to a man in all his labor which he labors under the sun? A generation passes away, and a generation comes; but the earth remains forever.” (Ecclesiastes 1:2-4 MKJV). If ever there was a man who obtained everything it was him still there was a hole inside himself he could not fill. Do we not know God’s Word, are our spiritual ears filled with wax that they cannot hear what the Spirit of God is telling us? Then why do we strive, why do we keep pushing forward if the road leads to nowhere? What is it we are looking for? Might it be we were created for something bigger than ourselves and therefore that which we seek does not come from within but without. Humanity was not created to be complete apart from God and until we awaken to see that we will continue to be tossed on the stormy sea of life this way and that but with God as our anchor and Christ as our north star we will reach our destination.

Fear of looking down

Without knowing the depths of the dark canyon below the full impact of God’s grace cannot be known. The more light that is allowed to shine on this great divide the tighter one clings to Jesus.

One does not share the experiences of the heart only to help others but also to reassure one’s self of God’s presences, for many times I would have fallen if it were not for the things God has done. For the path of the righteous is narrow and few ever reach their destination. If it were simple we would not require God’s leading and if the path were smooth our armor would not include shoes of peace that come from God’s good news.

But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.
(1 Thessalonians 5:8 NLT)

Like Paul told Timothy, “Faithful is the Word and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” (1 Timothy 1:15). I do not share with the intent to show myself better than anyone else but rather to show God’s kindness and mercy. Without Christ my life is unmanageable and destined for destruction but in Him there is hope, in Him peace can be known, in Him true life can be found. I share because Christ Jesus is all that is good within me and the only thing worthy of sharing. He has allowed me to see the deep dark crevices I try to hide, even from myself.

"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve."
(Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT)

Paul goes on to say, “But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.”
(1 Timothy 1:16 NLT)

How can you tell others that you have been saved if you are not willing to tell what you’ve been saved from? The thing that struck me about Paul is that he did not say he was the chief sinner but he spoke in present tense, “of whom I am chief”. For I believe Paul knew to step outside of God’s grace would be to step squarely in the center of who he was without Christ. You see Paul knew the depths of the deep canyon below and was reminded of it often but that did not cause him to fear, rather he boasted of the things Christ has done in his own life realizing He can do the same for others. Then why is it when we step away from God, motivated by our own wicked hearts that we come to despair? Life is about decisions, consistently make bad ones and your path will lead you to a test; fail the test and you will know new levels of the darkness below. With each bad decision you only make the hole you will later have to climb out of deeper but fear not for even in this there is purpose. God wants your trust, if you take Him for granted you are not trusting Him you are using Him for your purpose and your soul is in danger of hell. However, if we know His mercy and love our eyes He will lift so that we see His face and our souls will be saved.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
(Ephesians 6:12-18 NLT)

Don’t become consumed by fear, even though we are sinful but instead look to Jesus who was made sin for us so that we might live. Like the Israelites who sinned against God and were dying as poisonous snakes bit them their own fears forced them look down and all would have surely died but for God told Moses to make a replica of a poisonous snake and attach it to a pole for all to see and those who simply look at it will be saved. Today if we simply put our eyes on Jesus He has the power to save us. (read Numbers 21)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
(2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)

So the next time someone asks what does it mean to be saved tell them. Tell them of how you were dying, tell them of the darkness that is kept at bay because of Jesus’ light, tell them how even today you are reminded of your need for a Savior, and tell them how Jesus took your spot and paid your debt so that you might be called a lamb of God. Secondly, live out what God has called you to be, put on the armor of God, boldly proclaim what God has done in power, love, and self-discipline and never forget the deep dark place God has brought you from so that you might trust Him more.

By Faith I eagerly await my home

Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
(Hebrews 11:14-16 NLT)

Regardless of what this life holds if we are to see the promises God has given we must live by faith and not by sight. For by faith are His promises fulfilled and come to fruition but without faith God cannot be found; we will wonder this way and that looking frantically but come up wanting.

God uses faith to teach us for it is a departure from what we know. God’s ways are not like man’s ways and faith bridges that chasm between the created and the Creator. By faith I know this world could never satisfy, by faith my heart yearns for a home to which I’ve never been, and by faith I know I am in a race by which I am being tested so that one day I may stand before the One who allowed me to run and hear Him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

A prayer for the broken

Lord, of all the prayers I’ve prayed for strength to make it through a situation, sometimes just a day, this time I pray that my heart will remain broken before you. You have delivered me yet this time I don’t want to run ahead for you are doing something beyond my understanding and just out of view. Your Holy Spirit has this time caught my attention and I feel the best place to be is right here, help me to not take this time with you for granted.

This one thing I know, it is the times I depend on myself that though they may seem glorious for a little while those are the times that always precede the test. In the midst of the test I look to you and am closer to salvation than any other time, you bring me to my feet and once again it’s not long before I’ve taken my eyes off of you but this time make it different O Lord. Help me to step with wisdom and embrace your precepts. Help me not to walk by sight but by faith, with purpose and direction that comes not from my own understanding but from your Holy Spirit.

So break my heart Lord so that my eyes don’t lead me astray, how can it be I see more with my eyes shut than open. Will my heart ever get it? You knew me before I was created in the womb, help me to remember. Your purpose goes beyond my small dreams for this short life and I will never be fully alive until I have centered my life in Your will. Be still my heart for the Master is walking by, soul shut your eyes for I want to see Him unhindered. Lord, come near for I need you more now than ever. You have prepared me for this time and I don’t want to miss what you have destined before my life began. So won’t you lead this blind man and help me to listen closer this time for even if this is but one step closer to you my heart overflows.

My addiction - part two

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:29-31 NLT)

How bad to you want change in your life? What would you give to be made whole? What if someone told you the strength to change is right there in front of you, would you have the courage to reach out for it or would you stay with the comfortable?

In ourselves we have not the power to change, no matter how good a game you talk or what you pump yourself up to, it makes no difference what you can cause others to believe about you, the question we all must face is this – are we willing to admit our limitations for His limitless ability to make right our wrongs?

Step two in leaving our addictions behind is to admit we are powerless to change. If it were not true there would be no such thing as an addiction. By it’s very definition to have an addiction (you can only admit once you come to terms with part one) means you are powerless to do anything about it. An addiction is “a strong and harmful need to regularly have or do something” Webster.

For those who are ready to change we’ve learned in part one that everyone has addictions and denial allows us all to live with them even though our consciousness warns something is not right. The first step in real change is to admit denial is present and now the next step we must take is to admit we are powerless to do anything about it. So I strip myself of denial forcing myself to look at my short comings and to add insult to injury I must now admit I can’t do anything about it – that can be a scary place but this is victory in disguise. For those of you who do not know the Lord God as Abba Father and Savior it can feel like you are headed the wrong direction, exposing yourself with no action plan. Remember the definition of insanity ~ doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Well this is where change comes in by admitting our addictions and our own inability to change, we in affect let go of what we know and are in a place to receive what God knows, His power and grace. Hear me on this – if you stop short of any of these action points and you will fail again! That’s okay God will wait but do you really want to go through all of this again? If you were strong enough to prevent it why did you fall the first time? This is not a popular lesson but it is necessary. You simply cannot keep relying on yourself and on God at the same time, so which is it going to be? Are you ready for real change or do you want to protect your pride? One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. It seems kind of silly to pretend how strong you want to be because one day everyone will know the truth anyway. It is much better to admit than to be exposed and admitting is the entry price to a new world but hiding allows pride to grow – your choice.

My addiction - part one

No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
(Matthew 6:24 NLT)

Denial, the truth is we all have addictions but sadly few ever realize it before it is too late. In many ways the alcoholic or drug addict are closer to recovery than many, more “acceptable”, more “respectable” people we know and deal with in our everyday lives. Why, because they have hit bottom and they know they have a problem, while everyone else tries to keep up the illusion that they are strong enough.

Addictions are not just connected to illegal activity, addictions are anything that controls you. It is the girl who eats to make herself feel better, it is the guy who can’t help but respond in anger because things did not go his way. An addiction is anything that controls what you do, beyond reason, without explanation, it is what you default to without thought and then wonder why you keep doing it over and over even though you know better.

An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.
(Proverbs 5:22-23 NLT)

Who is this “evil man”? He is all of us until we come to Jesus, sacrificing our own will for His. To do the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Identify your addiction, is it gossip, is it sex, what about work or money? There are as many types of addictions as there are people and yes, becoming saved and accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior is a step in the right direction but many, many Christians still have addictions. Accepting Christ as Savior is not the end but the beginning. A person may give up alcohol when he comes to Jesus but still has to come to terms with the anger that drove him to drinking. As you walk with Jesus you will find there are layers of addictions, as the outer layer is removed you will feel clean until your realize there is still another layer that needs to be dealt with. All these things take us the wrong direction because it takes our eyes off of God but as each layer is removed we grow closer to God. Look at what Proverbs says about the lack of self-control:

Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.
(Proverbs 13:3 NLT)

People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
(Proverbs 14:29 NLT)

Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.
(Proverbs 16:32 NLT)

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.
(Proverbs 25:28 NLT)

We’ve all heard it said that God uses difficult situations to make us stronger but have you ever stopped to think about what that really means? God doesn’t have to put us in difficult situations we do just fine on our own. The fact that we can’t see that is evidence we are in denial. It is in fact our addictions, our tendencies, our short sightedness that lead us to the difficulties we are currently in, even when they seem unrelated. God is good and instead of shielding us from our own bad decisions He walks through it with us. He does not enable us to keep acting badly but turns us to what is good and honest. It is time to stop the insanity, examine ourselves, and give control over to God. Yes, the first step in healing is to admit our denial.

No confidence in myself

Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: "Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: 'I thank You, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don't cheat, I don't sin, and I don't commit adultery. I'm certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give You a tenth of my income.' "But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, 'O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.' I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."
(Luke 18:9-14 NLT)

We all go through difficulties in this life, some like to keep them hidden while others have learned these struggles are really lessons in disguise, not something to be ashamed of but instead trophies that reveal what a might God we serve. In order to be open about your struggles you must come to a point of deeper understanding of who God says you are. A point that says this life is not about you or me but something bigger. It’s not about self-image or persona but it is about remembering that we have all fallen short of what God’s law requires of us. I consider my life is a success when people look at me and see what God is doing. Never do I need to be more than what God is doing in me right now but always point to Him as the focal point, not to bask in accomplishments but ever searching for more of Him to be revealed in my own life. What is accomplished if I show myself to be strong? Are people impressed when the façade I maintain resembles the ideal of human achievements? That is a heavy load and I would much rather be honest about my struggles because I know if there be any praise, if there be any glory it is not my own but God’s but that has its price as well. I realize not all will come to this place, it can be scary and the cost seem too high, especially if a life time of building is at stake but what is your foundation? Is it solid ground or is it sand? God is more concerned with our spiritual condition than He is our physical comfort and if the flesh must be brought low so that the spirit will know His salvation don’t think His love isn’t strong enough to take us there and beyond. Don’t mistake struggles for weakness for I live; yet no longer I, but Christ in me. (Gal 2:20)

You see, we don't go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus' sake.
(2 Corinthians 4:5 NLT)

The apostle Paul may have been the strongest Christian that ever was but yet he shared many of his struggles not just those past but those he dealt with at the time of his writing. In this present life the norm has become to fix people but seldom do we take time to look at our own issues but God has a way of causing us to see what is important. Sometimes it can be a gentle whisper of His Holy Spirit and sometimes it takes a raging storm, it all depends on our own ability to listen and obey.

In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us.
(2 Corinthians 1:9-10 NLT)

I am forgiven, still I struggle

Lord, You have brought me through the storm, You have shown me my own frailty, and You have been faithful to forgive me and still lead me, I should be stronger than ever still I struggle. I struggle with careless words, I struggle to find value, I struggle with doing what I know to be right and good even though You provide opportunity to give back what You have taught me. I know this is the battle You have prepared me for, so I pray for Your strength and for spiritual vision. Cause the ears and eyes of my spirit to be alert and ever watching for snares of the enemy, for they come in many shapes and forms. Lord, don’t let the things I say be used by the enemy to wound others and if I am misunderstood provide the opportunity to set things right and bless the ears of the hearer so that Your will may be done. Help me to love others with the love You have shown me, cause me to strive to please You when all I want to do is give up and walk away. There is no hero in this life except for You O Lord! What do we have that You have not provided? If we are loved, if people are attracted towards us what could we possibly boast about that we have not received from You? Some have understanding and insight, while others have the ability to sway large groups of people yet neither can say they got there without You, the things people are attracted to are bits of You and they don’t even realize it. Help me not to compare one gift to another for all good things originate from You and You have purposed each one for a time and place of Your choosing. You O Lord, have planted a piece of Your puzzle inside the heart of man, for inside of me is an answer to a question that leads others to discover who You are! I am but one small piece of the big picture You have planned for humanity and if I never come to terms with that this question will go unanswered. Lord please don’t let me fail, help me keep my eyes upon You.

Obedience from things suffered

Even though Jesus was God's Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. In this way, God qualified Him as a perfect High Priest, and He became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey Him.
(Hebrews 5:8-9 NLT)

Obedience is a difficult lesson to be sure, you will think you have it down only to find out there is a deeper level, a higher plateau, a new realm, another battle. You see we are not called to stand still but to traverse this mountain pass, for we are on a journey and Jesus leads us each day. One of the first things we must do is learn to keep our eyes fixed upon Him. In ourselves, apart from Him, lives no good thing we can depend upon and we quickly fall, losing all sense of balance without the Holy Spirit to guide us. Staying close to Jesus isn’t for the weak or the babes who live on milk but for the mature and those training to face the enemy. The writer of Hebrews dealt harshly with the believers who stood still for too long. We don’t know what their reasons were for not growing but as you can imagine in growing there is pain. Were they too comfortable, did they lack vision, were they too busy satisfying their flesh? It seems they would have had to work at not growing because simply living brings about circumstances that either cause us to turn towards Christ or turn away from Him.

There is much more we would like to say about this, but it is difficult to explain, especially since you are spiritually dull and don't seem to listen. You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God's word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn't know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.
(Hebrews 5:11-14 NLT)

If you are going through difficult times be thankful because each of us are not yet complete in the purpose God has for us and the fact that you are seeking God’s direction tells of your growth. It’s when you are satisfied with your current state and work hard not to leave the familiar place you’ve been living that you willingly trade the meat of God’s Word that He offers for the milk that’s easier to swallow.

For You have rescued me from my troubles and helped me to triumph over my enemies.
(Psalms 54:7 NLT)

A woman's heart

My son, I pray you listen to your father because I want what is best for you and the one you love. Though a mature woman will understand that who you are and what you do requires you to talk, work with, and even socialize with other women, she always wants to know that she is number one in your life. To look at or think of another woman in a romantic way breaks down the honor and trust that your one true love so richly deserves.

It’s not enough to say she is number one because she is always watching and listening to how you respond when another woman wants your attention. Before she found you she too used to play the game. You see inside all women is the desire to know she is lovely, God made them that way and that is good because God also put inside the heart of man the ability to meet that need. One way for her to know that she is lovely is if she can win the heart of a popular boy, and both my boys are very popular among their peers.

You will know this is happening when other women wants to talk to you about things such as dances you did not invite them to or about things you are interested in when she would otherwise have no interest in it apart from you. It all seems innocent enough but she knows if she comes on too strong you will recognize the game and you will be turned off if you are already in a dating relationship. What is difficult is that her flirting speaks to the heart of you because all men want to know something too; that he is important and he has what it takes. Have you ever listened to the song called “Slow fade” by Casting Crowns? I encourage you listen to it again because even though her actions may seem innocent it is where it will lead you that matters and while all this is going on you can be sure the one you gave your word to honor and love is watching and waiting to see what you will do.

It’s going to happen and you will not realize it until after several attempts have been made to win your heart but once you do recognize it you have a very important choice to make. Guys aren’t usually that sensitive and most never recognize what’s coming but you can lose the war by not seeing the battle. Couples are especially susceptible if the relationship between them is already strained in one way or another. This is why there are so many adulterous affairs today the husband and wife disagree, argue, and fight then someone of the opposite sex starts out acting like they care and before you know it they are meeting in secrete but they cannot hide the betrayal in their hearts. If dating is not for the purpose of finding the one you are going to marry then why is it done? Being friends with people of the opposite sex is good, you shouldn’t be shy or awkward but dating is reserved for preparation of marriage and if that is the case your faithfulness in dating is an indicator of how faithful you will be once you are married. Even if you can convince your love this flirting from other girls doesn’t mean anything it is your actions that speaks to the deepest part of her heart. You have one chance to prove you mean what you say, after that the trust between you and your love is broken and it takes a lot more effort to mend that trust than it would have taken in the beginning to simply keep it.

Lastly, I want you to know these dating games that men and women play go on throughout their adult lives. To see if they can win the affection of another doesn’t indicate an evil intent, as long as both are single. Without these games you would not have noticed the one you love but it is the second glance, like the song mentions that ties your hands and if you have already committed your love to another you are headed for danger. I would be no father or even a friend if I didn’t warn you of this age old problem. If this has already happened then this is your chance to turn it around and convince your love, not only with words but in actions too, that she is the only one for you and you will fight for her honor. From this day forward guard your heart for it belongs to her, let other women know you are off limits and you are madly in love with the one God gave you and in doing this the relationship between you and her will be always blessed.