the journey

Several have wondered where I’ve been and what’s going on. First, I want to thank all of you who have been sincerely praying for me and secondly, I want to let you know that I have not fallen away from God or even grown tired of writing in this journal. Sometimes God takes us places that are completely private so that we are able to ask things of Him that we cannot ask before others, such is the case in my absence. Though not all of my questions have been answered many have and my spirit has been refreshed with deeper determination and things that seemed right before are now confirmed. There have also been things revealed in my life that need to change, as growing closer to God has that affect. Most of all this has been a time to align my thoughts with God’s direction for my life. As difficult decisions come we all have opportunities to lay our armor down and walk away, feeling tired and worn out or we can choose to draw closer to God and be renewed by His Holy Spirit. We read about this with king David time and time again in the Psalms, he finds strength in the current situation because he remembers the victories God has led him through in the past and he knows God does not change, what He has done yesterday He will do again and all he has to do is to remain faithful.

(Psalms 42:1-11 MKJV) “To the Chief Musician. A contemplation; for the sons of Korah. As the hart pants after the water brooks, so my soul pants after You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day, Where is your God? When I remember these things, I pour out my soul on me; for I had gone with the multitude; I went with them to the house of God with the voice of joy and praise, a multitude keeping the feast. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and moan within me? Hope in God; for I shall praise Him for the salvation of His face. O my God, my soul is cast down within me; therefore I will remember You from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermons, from mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and Your billows have gone over me. Jehovah will command His loving-kindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, my prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my rock, Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the cruelty of the enemy? As with a sword in my bones, my enemies shame me; while they say daily to me, Where is your God? Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why do you moan within me? Hope in God; for I still praise Him, the salvation of my face, and my God.”

“Deep calls to deep at the noise of Your waterfalls…” Have you experienced this in your walk with God? Have you ever stopped your normal routine to be submerged in the depths of His love and the knowledge of His grace? Understanding that He knows exactly what weighs on your mind, the decisions you face and the consequences that come because those decisions. Sure you can decide for yourself, be wrong and His grace will still cover you but to stop and ask for directions is better. This was a question before me during my time away and this verse kept coming to mind.

(1 Samuel 15:22 NLT) “But Samuel replied, "What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”

God will accept our sacrifice because He loves us but He prefers our obedience and if we are ever to get closer to Him we need to listen to the call of His Holy Spirit today! There is a check in my spirit about going into too much detail but this is at the heart of the matter.

(1 Samuel 8:7 MKJV) “And Jehovah said to Samuel, Listen to the voice of the people in all that they say to you. For they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.”

Like Israel, too many times we find it easier to follow man than God. Rather than seeking His direction for our lives we would rather have someone tell us what to do but is that what has been required of us? You say, “But that is the Old Testament.” Jesus tells us the same thing again in Matthew (Matthew 23:8-10 NIV) "But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ.”

When we look to another man to lead us something happens to the heart of man. We take our dependence off God and place it on leaders of our choosing and that human leader struggles. King David was a godly leader that struggled with the authority given to him, even though being warned by God not to depend upon his own might when facing his enemy he took a census of the people. Here is what happened… (1 Chronicles 21:1-8 MKJV) “And Satan stood up against Israel and provoked David to take a census of Israel. And David said to Joab and to the rulers of the people, Go number Israel from Beer-sheba to Dan. And bring the number of them to me so that I may know. And Joab answered, May Jehovah add to His people a hundred times, but my lord the king, are they not all my lord's servants? Why then does my lord require this thing? Why will he be a cause of trespass to Israel? But the king's word prevailed against Joab. And Joab departed and went up and down all Israel, and came again to Jerusalem. And Joab gave the sum of the census of the people to David. And in all Israel there were one million and a hundred thousand men who drew sword. And in Judah were four hundred and seventy thousand men who drew sword. But Levi and Benjamin he did not count among them; for the king's word was evil to Joab. And it was evil in the eyes of God as to this thing. And He struck Israel. And David said to God, I have sinned greatly because I have done this thing. But now, I beseech You, remove the iniquity of Your servant for I have done very foolishly.”

Over time we have seen religious leaders fall. One very prominent leader before falling had his name on everything he did. He had his own bible, college, TV show, and more. The people looked to him for spiritual guidance, he was very influential, yet he quietly struggled. Though the original intent was meant for good long before he fell in the public’s eye he got off track and his communication with God suffered but unknown to his followers. He still taught the Word of God, his words did not change but the anointing quietly left and the latter part of his ministry was being done under his own strength. New believers who did not develop a relationship with God fell with that man and that is the reason why this numbing of our souls is so very costly – we need a direct connection with the Source. So not only did the leader struggle but the people made a decision to follow the easier path. O, this leader told his followers to grow close to Jesus but somewhere in the translation the message was lost. Anytime we make something more important than our own relationship with Christ Jesus we lose our way. If we listen to evangelical tapes in place of prayer, if we depend upon someone else feeding us instead of us opening the Bible ourselves, if we think the message we get on Sunday mornings is enough then we are missing it. A day may come in your lifetime when these things are taken away. Will you still follow Christ Jesus or fall away? Now is the time to check, when you come upon hard times where do you turn to? Is it a pastor, parent, a church leader or older Christian? These people can certainly help but they cannot take the place of a personal relationship with Christ Jesus. The devil is cunning he will use success to keep one person weak and use failure to break the other but in all situations we are to turn to Christ.

We have all fallen short and in need of a Savior, no one is exempt! It is important to remember what and who we fight against. It is not your brothers or sisters or even those who would set themselves against you but you being bought with the blood of Christ have a spiritual enemy who works to see you fail! When God reveals something to you and you know it is His voice because it aligns with the Word of God and His Spirit has confirmed it within your own heart do not be puffed up with pride lest you fall, keep in mind the many things that you have been forgiven and proceed cautiously. The Bible tells us to not try and remove the splinter from your brother’s eye with a log in your own. (Mat. 7:3) – to that end DO NOT JUDGE but if God convicts you of something don’t go against it because it is unpopular with the people. With that being said I caution being led by tradition or the majority. When those things become the governing factor instead of our dependence upon God’s Holy Spirit to lead something is wrong. Tradition can cause us to feel safe and large numbers seems to point to protection but it is a false hope, instead we are to practice waiting upon God and listening for His voice. In the end whatever gets in the way of that is not of God and the whatever foundation we stand on if it is anything other than Christ Jesus it will fail.