Is God for me?

While walking through a valley so deep the sun only shows for a few hours each day one is faced with a question. To know that all things are possible for God is not hard to believe, likewise knowing that God has a purpose and that purpose will be accomplished is no stretch. I know that through circumstances He is shaping me and molding me like a potter molds the clay vessel on the pottery wheel but is it His purpose that my hopes be destroyed in the process? This question I come across in many different forms as I walk this path but at it’s base the question is this – is God for me? Will God not only rescue my soul but my emotional and psychological well being too or will I be brought low to the point I can do nothing but surrender? When He is finished with me will I still be me or someone else? Does God really care about the little things that I care about? Like Jacob I could wrestle with God but I haven’t the will and though I conform I am left pondering these things.

If God knows me intimately, like I know He does because He is the Creator of all life, then He must know what is best for me and though there are times the molding and reshaping is painful it is necessary. There comes a time in each person’s life where complete surrender is required and there each one comes face to face with this question – do I completely trust God with my life? Do I believe what He is making me to be is better than what I am? He gives me His Word so that I may know Him, how did He change those who followed before me? Is that someone I want to be? Paul, who was Saul was aware of how God changed him and he had such a great love for God he said this, “For to me, living means for Christ, and dying is even better.” (Philippians 1:21). He had one mind undivided by the things of this earth. As he faced death he knew crossing that threshold would only serve to take him home to see his Redeemer and if he was allowed to live it meant allowing God to live through him so that others may know the Lover of our souls also.

Ultimately I know God is for me and though I would choose a different path I also know my very sight is given to me by Him and without Him my eyes go dim and I am left standing in the dark. We cannot let anything hold us back from following our Lord and Savior though the enemy will lie continuously. Lord let us know your passion for us, let us understand if only a little what we mean to you. We have been alone for so long and You have been crying out for us, for you long to be with us, we are yours and You have given your Son so that like Paul we have a home to come home to. Thank you Father God for reassuring us as we take these steps in this deep valley.

Dying to self

How small is the world of one who has turned inward. Selfishness is never content, always wanting more, always falling short of God’s glory but when the eyes are upon God’s good faithfulness the boundaries that confine are loosed and the heart dances before the Lord like a young deer in the meadow. May the fire of the Lord consume the faithful and lead them into mercies and compassion that was before unknown so that their eyes may be opened. For the Lord reigns and mighty is His throne. Who can stand in His presence? What does selfishness profit the one who carries its weight? Can the treasures stored up by their hands compare with the peace and rest the Lord gives to the one who places Him first? The world teaches us to work for the things we want. Is success desired? Then work hard and maybe you will find it. The biggest problem with that ideal is that it works too often on a certain level. So we work to get more, if a little is good then more is better right? It is in the condition of the heart and the gaze of the eyes, for the more we set our eyes on lesser things the more the path leads away from the Lord until one day we find ourselves surrounded by the quicksand of want, in a world that does not reach beyond our own sight but God is faithful to clean the mud from our eyes and lift us out of the muck of our own desires. Dying to self is a daily cleansing, not a monthly or even weekly event. So Lord, bring us into your courts each day so that we may keep watch and run our race as you intended. For you have broken all that binds us, Lord we shout unto you for you have placed our feet on a solid rock!

A prayer

Lord, it is difficult for me to understand your great mercy. You restore those who walk upright before thee; the same who desire to please their God. You have given us the law so that we might know of our need for a Savior and you were faithful to give us your Son Jesus for that very purpose. So help us not to waist our time but to use it wisely, for the days of man are short and we have but one chance to live the life you intended. Lord, don’t let me blame you when I go through difficulties but help me to be thankful for walking with me and not leaving me alone. You know me inside and out and you see the fragility of my heart and you comfort me and reassure me so that I may follow in your footsteps. Thank you for loving me and for not letting go of my hand.