Doing it on your own

You can either make decisions based on what you know or you can live your life based on truth but what is true? If it is not what you believe to be true then how can you know it? More to the point what is your anchor, what is true north? Is your life line depended upon how you can play the game or is it dependent upon what the Creator of all life says? Why would anyone want to play games when the cost is so high? Is it because, apart from Christ we don’t understand what the costs are? We have a Creator who not only gave us this life we know and love but gave us also eternal souls and the cost is eternal separation from God.

All that we see and know that is good and true has been given to us as blessings from God, the mind cannot comprehend existence without God’s mercy, His love, and His grace. “For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45 MKJV). Do we really want to know what life is like without God’s intervention? Do we want to gamble on finding out and then living with our decision for the rest of eternity?

God loves us too much not to change us. When you are left alone with yourself, meaning when you come face to face with the reality of who you are without Christ are you satisfied with what you see? Really, all humanity is the same read Psalms, king David struggled with who he was without God. David’s son Solomon who wrote Ecclesiastes did not want for anything and had wisdom beyond his own understanding yet he said, “Vanity of vanities, says the preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What is the profit to a man in all his labor which he labors under the sun? A generation passes away, and a generation comes; but the earth remains forever.” (Ecclesiastes 1:2-4 MKJV). If ever there was a man who obtained everything it was him still there was a hole inside himself he could not fill. Do we not know God’s Word, are our spiritual ears filled with wax that they cannot hear what the Spirit of God is telling us? Then why do we strive, why do we keep pushing forward if the road leads to nowhere? What is it we are looking for? Might it be we were created for something bigger than ourselves and therefore that which we seek does not come from within but without. Humanity was not created to be complete apart from God and until we awaken to see that we will continue to be tossed on the stormy sea of life this way and that but with God as our anchor and Christ as our north star we will reach our destination.

Fear of looking down

Without knowing the depths of the dark canyon below the full impact of God’s grace cannot be known. The more light that is allowed to shine on this great divide the tighter one clings to Jesus.

One does not share the experiences of the heart only to help others but also to reassure one’s self of God’s presences, for many times I would have fallen if it were not for the things God has done. For the path of the righteous is narrow and few ever reach their destination. If it were simple we would not require God’s leading and if the path were smooth our armor would not include shoes of peace that come from God’s good news.

But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation.
(1 Thessalonians 5:8 NLT)

Like Paul told Timothy, “Faithful is the Word and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” (1 Timothy 1:15). I do not share with the intent to show myself better than anyone else but rather to show God’s kindness and mercy. Without Christ my life is unmanageable and destined for destruction but in Him there is hope, in Him peace can be known, in Him true life can be found. I share because Christ Jesus is all that is good within me and the only thing worthy of sharing. He has allowed me to see the deep dark crevices I try to hide, even from myself.

"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve."
(Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT)

Paul goes on to say, “But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.”
(1 Timothy 1:16 NLT)

How can you tell others that you have been saved if you are not willing to tell what you’ve been saved from? The thing that struck me about Paul is that he did not say he was the chief sinner but he spoke in present tense, “of whom I am chief”. For I believe Paul knew to step outside of God’s grace would be to step squarely in the center of who he was without Christ. You see Paul knew the depths of the deep canyon below and was reminded of it often but that did not cause him to fear, rather he boasted of the things Christ has done in his own life realizing He can do the same for others. Then why is it when we step away from God, motivated by our own wicked hearts that we come to despair? Life is about decisions, consistently make bad ones and your path will lead you to a test; fail the test and you will know new levels of the darkness below. With each bad decision you only make the hole you will later have to climb out of deeper but fear not for even in this there is purpose. God wants your trust, if you take Him for granted you are not trusting Him you are using Him for your purpose and your soul is in danger of hell. However, if we know His mercy and love our eyes He will lift so that we see His face and our souls will be saved.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.
(Ephesians 6:12-18 NLT)

Don’t become consumed by fear, even though we are sinful but instead look to Jesus who was made sin for us so that we might live. Like the Israelites who sinned against God and were dying as poisonous snakes bit them their own fears forced them look down and all would have surely died but for God told Moses to make a replica of a poisonous snake and attach it to a pole for all to see and those who simply look at it will be saved. Today if we simply put our eyes on Jesus He has the power to save us. (read Numbers 21)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
(2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)

So the next time someone asks what does it mean to be saved tell them. Tell them of how you were dying, tell them of the darkness that is kept at bay because of Jesus’ light, tell them how even today you are reminded of your need for a Savior, and tell them how Jesus took your spot and paid your debt so that you might be called a lamb of God. Secondly, live out what God has called you to be, put on the armor of God, boldly proclaim what God has done in power, love, and self-discipline and never forget the deep dark place God has brought you from so that you might trust Him more.

By Faith I eagerly await my home

Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
(Hebrews 11:14-16 NLT)

Regardless of what this life holds if we are to see the promises God has given we must live by faith and not by sight. For by faith are His promises fulfilled and come to fruition but without faith God cannot be found; we will wonder this way and that looking frantically but come up wanting.

God uses faith to teach us for it is a departure from what we know. God’s ways are not like man’s ways and faith bridges that chasm between the created and the Creator. By faith I know this world could never satisfy, by faith my heart yearns for a home to which I’ve never been, and by faith I know I am in a race by which I am being tested so that one day I may stand before the One who allowed me to run and hear Him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

A prayer for the broken

Lord, of all the prayers I’ve prayed for strength to make it through a situation, sometimes just a day, this time I pray that my heart will remain broken before you. You have delivered me yet this time I don’t want to run ahead for you are doing something beyond my understanding and just out of view. Your Holy Spirit has this time caught my attention and I feel the best place to be is right here, help me to not take this time with you for granted.

This one thing I know, it is the times I depend on myself that though they may seem glorious for a little while those are the times that always precede the test. In the midst of the test I look to you and am closer to salvation than any other time, you bring me to my feet and once again it’s not long before I’ve taken my eyes off of you but this time make it different O Lord. Help me to step with wisdom and embrace your precepts. Help me not to walk by sight but by faith, with purpose and direction that comes not from my own understanding but from your Holy Spirit.

So break my heart Lord so that my eyes don’t lead me astray, how can it be I see more with my eyes shut than open. Will my heart ever get it? You knew me before I was created in the womb, help me to remember. Your purpose goes beyond my small dreams for this short life and I will never be fully alive until I have centered my life in Your will. Be still my heart for the Master is walking by, soul shut your eyes for I want to see Him unhindered. Lord, come near for I need you more now than ever. You have prepared me for this time and I don’t want to miss what you have destined before my life began. So won’t you lead this blind man and help me to listen closer this time for even if this is but one step closer to you my heart overflows.

My addiction - part two

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:29-31 NLT)

How bad to you want change in your life? What would you give to be made whole? What if someone told you the strength to change is right there in front of you, would you have the courage to reach out for it or would you stay with the comfortable?

In ourselves we have not the power to change, no matter how good a game you talk or what you pump yourself up to, it makes no difference what you can cause others to believe about you, the question we all must face is this – are we willing to admit our limitations for His limitless ability to make right our wrongs?

Step two in leaving our addictions behind is to admit we are powerless to change. If it were not true there would be no such thing as an addiction. By it’s very definition to have an addiction (you can only admit once you come to terms with part one) means you are powerless to do anything about it. An addiction is “a strong and harmful need to regularly have or do something” Webster.

For those who are ready to change we’ve learned in part one that everyone has addictions and denial allows us all to live with them even though our consciousness warns something is not right. The first step in real change is to admit denial is present and now the next step we must take is to admit we are powerless to do anything about it. So I strip myself of denial forcing myself to look at my short comings and to add insult to injury I must now admit I can’t do anything about it – that can be a scary place but this is victory in disguise. For those of you who do not know the Lord God as Abba Father and Savior it can feel like you are headed the wrong direction, exposing yourself with no action plan. Remember the definition of insanity ~ doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Well this is where change comes in by admitting our addictions and our own inability to change, we in affect let go of what we know and are in a place to receive what God knows, His power and grace. Hear me on this – if you stop short of any of these action points and you will fail again! That’s okay God will wait but do you really want to go through all of this again? If you were strong enough to prevent it why did you fall the first time? This is not a popular lesson but it is necessary. You simply cannot keep relying on yourself and on God at the same time, so which is it going to be? Are you ready for real change or do you want to protect your pride? One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. It seems kind of silly to pretend how strong you want to be because one day everyone will know the truth anyway. It is much better to admit than to be exposed and admitting is the entry price to a new world but hiding allows pride to grow – your choice.

My addiction - part one

No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
(Matthew 6:24 NLT)

Denial, the truth is we all have addictions but sadly few ever realize it before it is too late. In many ways the alcoholic or drug addict are closer to recovery than many, more “acceptable”, more “respectable” people we know and deal with in our everyday lives. Why, because they have hit bottom and they know they have a problem, while everyone else tries to keep up the illusion that they are strong enough.

Addictions are not just connected to illegal activity, addictions are anything that controls you. It is the girl who eats to make herself feel better, it is the guy who can’t help but respond in anger because things did not go his way. An addiction is anything that controls what you do, beyond reason, without explanation, it is what you default to without thought and then wonder why you keep doing it over and over even though you know better.

An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.
(Proverbs 5:22-23 NLT)

Who is this “evil man”? He is all of us until we come to Jesus, sacrificing our own will for His. To do the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Identify your addiction, is it gossip, is it sex, what about work or money? There are as many types of addictions as there are people and yes, becoming saved and accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior is a step in the right direction but many, many Christians still have addictions. Accepting Christ as Savior is not the end but the beginning. A person may give up alcohol when he comes to Jesus but still has to come to terms with the anger that drove him to drinking. As you walk with Jesus you will find there are layers of addictions, as the outer layer is removed you will feel clean until your realize there is still another layer that needs to be dealt with. All these things take us the wrong direction because it takes our eyes off of God but as each layer is removed we grow closer to God. Look at what Proverbs says about the lack of self-control:

Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.
(Proverbs 13:3 NLT)

People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
(Proverbs 14:29 NLT)

Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.
(Proverbs 16:32 NLT)

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.
(Proverbs 25:28 NLT)

We’ve all heard it said that God uses difficult situations to make us stronger but have you ever stopped to think about what that really means? God doesn’t have to put us in difficult situations we do just fine on our own. The fact that we can’t see that is evidence we are in denial. It is in fact our addictions, our tendencies, our short sightedness that lead us to the difficulties we are currently in, even when they seem unrelated. God is good and instead of shielding us from our own bad decisions He walks through it with us. He does not enable us to keep acting badly but turns us to what is good and honest. It is time to stop the insanity, examine ourselves, and give control over to God. Yes, the first step in healing is to admit our denial.

No confidence in myself

Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: "Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: 'I thank You, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don't cheat, I don't sin, and I don't commit adultery. I'm certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give You a tenth of my income.' "But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, 'O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.' I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."
(Luke 18:9-14 NLT)

We all go through difficulties in this life, some like to keep them hidden while others have learned these struggles are really lessons in disguise, not something to be ashamed of but instead trophies that reveal what a might God we serve. In order to be open about your struggles you must come to a point of deeper understanding of who God says you are. A point that says this life is not about you or me but something bigger. It’s not about self-image or persona but it is about remembering that we have all fallen short of what God’s law requires of us. I consider my life is a success when people look at me and see what God is doing. Never do I need to be more than what God is doing in me right now but always point to Him as the focal point, not to bask in accomplishments but ever searching for more of Him to be revealed in my own life. What is accomplished if I show myself to be strong? Are people impressed when the façade I maintain resembles the ideal of human achievements? That is a heavy load and I would much rather be honest about my struggles because I know if there be any praise, if there be any glory it is not my own but God’s but that has its price as well. I realize not all will come to this place, it can be scary and the cost seem too high, especially if a life time of building is at stake but what is your foundation? Is it solid ground or is it sand? God is more concerned with our spiritual condition than He is our physical comfort and if the flesh must be brought low so that the spirit will know His salvation don’t think His love isn’t strong enough to take us there and beyond. Don’t mistake struggles for weakness for I live; yet no longer I, but Christ in me. (Gal 2:20)

You see, we don't go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus' sake.
(2 Corinthians 4:5 NLT)

The apostle Paul may have been the strongest Christian that ever was but yet he shared many of his struggles not just those past but those he dealt with at the time of his writing. In this present life the norm has become to fix people but seldom do we take time to look at our own issues but God has a way of causing us to see what is important. Sometimes it can be a gentle whisper of His Holy Spirit and sometimes it takes a raging storm, it all depends on our own ability to listen and obey.

In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us.
(2 Corinthians 1:9-10 NLT)